Yesterday at work a young somewhat naive
girl grabbed chocolate from a little canister we have at work. I don't put
chocolate in there, but a few guys at work do. I have no idea why they do this,
probably public relations. As she was grabbing the chocolates she said we
should bring in celery sticks for her. Of course I said, something smart assed
about how I should simply go grocery shopping for her, perhaps she could bring
her list in for me.
She was joking and so was I but we
were both only partially joking.
It is strange to me how people will
complain about free things. I recently read this article on line: http://news.yahoo.com/ny-homeless-angry-china-tycoon-publicity-stunt-042623463.htm
I have fed the homeless morning
after morning in Elgin, IL. I did that at a time I was working two full time
jobs supporting a young family and waking up at 5am to feed the homless. Working
40 hours a week four days a week at one job and 40 hours a week 3 days a week
at the other job. Many of the folks there would actually complain about food I
would have been happy to eat.
Here in Savannah I befriended a
homeless man who would clean my car once a month and I paid him as if I had
taken my car to a detail shop. We exchanged phone numbers to make it easier to
stay in contact and soon he found where I lived and was at my door a few times.
He started calling every few days for money, he would try to manipulate my
feelings telling me sad stories about needing money for Mother's Day and other
events. Finally I had to cut him off. If it were up to him he'd be my
dependant.
The last time I employed him to
clean my car he stole a bottle of wine and most of a 20oz cup I had filled with
change. He has never been employed by me
again. Everyday I see the same homeless
people asking me for money. They have arms,
most of them have legs and they all have enough mental capacity to ask for
money and give you several reasons they need the money. They all have imagination. This leads me to believe that they can work
for food.
I have seen this in other areas of
life also. The way that people want the government to save them with laws,
rules, regulations, social security, medical care etc. We have begged for
exactly where we are politically, socially and mentally in our society.
I asked my friend Jedd Hafer to comment
on these attitudes being that he is an expert on the human psyche. Here is his response:
This brings to
mind 2 types of free.
I think that entitled attitude you see so
often from homeless people, etc. is a defensive, prideful response - not good
kind of pride, but that false pride. That ego-defense, sinful pride. I see it
often: “I am the spoiled child who does nothing for myself, contributes nothing
and start to feel crappy about myself. I resent and the only target for my
resentment is the parent who gives me everything and spends every second trying
to keep me happy.” No contribution = no self-efficacy. I hate myself and I take
it out on you (like your homeless 'friend'). Jim Fay of Love and Logic calls
this ‘Hostile Dependence’.
The other 'free'
you invoke in what you wrote is really the freedom of personal responsibility.
We are really free when we refuse to be victims. When we own our own
outcomes.
Incidentally,
this is why political opportunists drive me nuts. They always seeks to identify
a victim (and thereby identify a villain - such as 'business'). I’m looking at
you, Jesse Jackson (but not because I care about personal responsibility,
simply because I’m racist).
People who think
the government can create Utopia miss the importance of personal
responsibility. There is no merit, hard work; winners & losers. There is a
forced or contrived equality of outcome. We're not supposed to have the same
outcomes - maybe the same opportunities. But I hate that mythical fairness
crap. You can't equalize and make everything fair. Affirmative Action makes
things worse. Jesse Jackson is the devil. That's my point. :)
Seriously, people
who go through life looking for ways they can feel oppressed are miserable.
You could sit
& feel sorry for yourself if you wanted. You could go after the pity and
the secondary gain of being a victim. But you (freely) choose not to. You
choose instead to overcome.
The overcomer -
that person is free because he doesn't rely on others to succeed, be happy or
be rescued by the government.
Even God, who
really does rescue us tells us to be overcomers. To be more than conquerors. He
didn't make or save us to be defeated, victim-y wusses.
In short, the freedom to choose your destiny and live with the
results of your efforts and choices – that’s real freedom. The freedom to be
taken care of by somebody else – that’ s too much like slavery. Be your own
person and don’t be anybody’s victim. Then, you will be free.
Jedd Hafer
July, 2014
-Live Passionately, Live Aggressively
-Matt Dragon
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